I’m not living my life to the fullest.
What a sobering thought.
I’m 25 years old and I’m not living my life to the fullest. What am I doing?
A few months ago I was walking down the street – probably going to the bus stop or something routine – when that thought hit me. I’d finally gotten to a place of contentment. I liked my job. I had made friends. Chicago was finally beginning to feel like home. I was happy.
But that’s when I realized that without a job search or a big move or another source of discomfort I had grown complacent. I had lost sight of my big dreams. I had stopped living beyond the following day, week or month. I hadn’t needed to ask myself “what’s next” in awhile, so I’d stopped thinking far beyond the present. I’d stopped thinking big picture. I’d stopped dreaming big dreams.
When you stop dreaming big dreams you not only leave room for complacency, you leave room for doubt and fear. It was obvious that those two had quietly snuck in. The first sign was that I’d let my blog die…again. I’d sworn I was going to stop procrastinating and having an apathetic attitude about my writing and photography. But then I got busy and it got hard. I started to listen to the enemy’s lies and began to second guess myself and my ability. So I stopped. And My Beautiful Mess (my first blog) died for the second time.
My life is bigger than the one I’ve been living. God has given me immeasurable gifts and he has called me to use them to their fullest. I intend to gratefully and joyously do so.
I won’t let fear stand in my way. I’ve brought the blog back with a fresh new face and a renewed purpose. I’m immensely thankful for this life I’ve been given and I’m going to start acting like it. This life – my life – is going to be a full and fearless one.